Saturday, April 28, 2012

Sometimes it rains...

I have prayed many years to be healed of severe digestive issues that began with a hiatal hernia and a failed repair ten years ago.  I have been ill again lately...quite ill.  I took a turn for the worst in February and by mid April had lost 12 pounds...weight I really can't afford to lose.  With tears of weariness (no, not the self-pitying "why me!?) running down my face, I wrote to my daughter yesterday stating:

"I don't need a doctor. I don't need studies and surgeries. I need something beautiful. I need rain. I need blossoms on the lilac bushes we have nurtured along all these years. I need a deep breath of the air that is heavy, yet happily, laden with life-giving water.  Ah, Lord, show us life, give us life...abundant life..."
An hour after writing this, it began to rain...and it is still raining.  I do not share this with the purpose of indicating that I have some inside line when it comes to talking with God or that He is like the genie in the bottle forced to give me what I want on command.  Rather, I share this because His affirmative answer (this time) to my plea for rain on this wind-blown, heat-blasted soil made me again humbly aware that He does indeed hear our prayers.  The truth is, whether or not His answer had been affirmative, I can be sure that He hears and answers our prayers...all prayers.  It may not always be an affirmative answer (such as my prayer for healing), but I can be sure His answer is the one that is best for me.  His answer has been, Proverbs 3:6 "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
His eye is on the sparrow...His eye is on His people.  He knows and He cares.  In this I rest and seek to glorify His Holy Name.  I know He will heal me...this side of heaven or the other, but He is indeed healing me.  I will learn to be content in all things.  In two months we may again be facing hot, dry weather and, again, I will pray for His life-giving rain.  Whether or not He sends the rain, I need to lean into Him, trust, and wait.  Sometimes He answers my pleas for rain with a calming, steady soaker like the one we have seen these past two days.  Sometimes the rain doesn't come.  Sometimes we are healed from physical or emotional ailments, sometimes we must wait for healing.  Whatever the case, I know I can rely on Him to be by my side always.  Come what may, I pray to be found praising His Name.